How do you spell FUN? T.S.A.
Oh please, please let them pick me for a pat down! Please! What could possibly make for a more memorable childhood than busy afternoons spent scanning for weapons and terrorist threats? Not much, and this reviewer agrees with me.
3.0 out of 5 stars Great lesson for the kids!
By: loosenut (Seattle, WA)
This review is from: Playmobil Security Check Point (Toy)
I was a little disappointed when I first bought this item, because the functionality is limited. My 5 year old son pointed out that the passenger’s shoes cannot be removed. Then, we placed a deadly fingernail file underneath the passenger’s scarf, and neither the detector doorway nor the security wand picked it up. My son said “that’s the worst security ever!”. But it turned out to be okay, because when the passenger got on the Playmobil B757 and tried to hijack it, she was mobbed by a couple of other heroic passengers, who only sustained minor injuries in the scuffle, which were treated at the Playmobil Hospital.
The best thing about this product is that it teaches kids about the realities of living in a high-surveillence society. My son said he wants the Playmobil Neighborhood Surveillence System set for Christmas. I’ve heard that the CC TV cameras on that thing are pretty worthless in terms of quality and motion detection, so I think I’ll get him the Playmobil Abu-Gharib Interogation Set instead (it comes with a cute little memo from George Bush).
Imagine seeing the inside of this for all eternity.
I don’t know what is more awesome, the incredible length of this product’s actual name from Amazon, or the fact that the seller of the urn is named “ConcernedUrn”. Rest assured though, if you’re going to sell cremation supplies on the World Wide Waste, you’re going to find a few wise guys.
5.0 out of 5 stars Mom proudly displays Dad
Dr. Stool “Stock Proctologist” (Happy Acres HOA Retirement Community, Florida)
Mom proudly displays Dad in this urn in her assisted living apartment.
After keeping Dad in a cardboard cylinder in the garage on the workbench near his tools, where he was most at home for a couple of years, Mom had to move to an assisted living facility. Since she talks to him every day, we had to prepare Dad for the move. He wasn’t too happy about it, and he was pretty upset that we spent so much money for his new home, especially since the old one was free from the crematorium. He also wasn’t too happy about being stuck in the same room with Mom all the time, because now he’d have to listen to her talking all day.
When I told him the urn was pretty soundproof, he said ok. So I poured him in. He just fit, but I spilled a little of him on the workbench.He was ok with that.
I guess we’ll get the matching one for Mom when the time comes. Dad said to wait for a good sale, and be sure there’s enough room for a phone so she won’t nag him all day.
Dad, it’s been almost 5 years, and I miss you like it was yesterday. Mom doesn’t miss you so much. To her, you’re still there.
It's somehow very appropriate that this steering wheel is upside-down.
Some products are born of great ideas. Ideas like, “I wonder if I could make a desk…a desk for my steering wheel!” Someone out there went through the brainstorming sessions, patent process, manufacturing checks, and I guess some sort of legal review (maybe?) before this beautiful device
could be brought to market. Check out this reviewer’s snide review:
5.0 out of 5 stars Ergonomics and portability make this a must buy!
This review is from: Wheelmate Laptop Steering Wheel Desk (Automotive)
This product has changed my life. Before this product I was just your average commuter. However, once taking posession of my Wheelmate I became the ultimate multi-tasker. I started using it as described for my laptop to pass the time playing Solitaire while driving to work. But after a week or so I discovered the true potential of this product. I now not only use it for my laptop, but it can be used with my griddle to make breakfast on the way to work as well as resting my head on it when I need a quick nap to sleep off the hangover from last night. It also makes a perfect area to write on when you need to exchange insurance information with the person you just rear ended.
My only complaint with this product is the times I have veered off the road into a large body of water I was not able to use it as a flotation device and it quickly sank with the car. However, with a reasonable $25 price tag I was able to just order more without breaking the bank.
I recommend this product for anyone who wants to escape the hassle of regular driving and experience a whole new way to multi-task.
For sale: a yodeling pickle.
Your first clue that this item will have a funny review is that it’s a pickle. The second clue is that it’s a pickle that yodels. The third clue is that if you don’t get the first two you should probably buy an entire crate of these, slice them up, and eat them in a salad.
It’s a great portable music solution
This review is from: Yodelling Yodel Pickle TOY Novelty Retro Gag Gift (Toy)
I loaned my iPod to my kid and he broke it. This understandably bummed me out, since I really enjoy taking long walks on the beach while listening to some tune-age. I’m kinda low on funds, so buying a replacement iPod wasn’t an option for me. I was very fortunate to discover the Yodeling Pickle. I have been super pleased with the results. First of all, as luck would have it, the Yodeling Pickle just happens to yodel all of my favorite tunes that were stored on my iPod. Hits like “Bobbejaan Schoepen yodels the collected works of Black Sabbath” and of course Slim Whitman’s edgy yodeling rendition of “Baby Got Back.”
I have withheld one star from my review however, giving the Yodeling Pickle just four of five possible stars. There isn’t a headphone jack, which is only a problem if the folks around me don’t appreciate yodeling, (which almost NEVER happens). Also, I was accustomed to carrying the iPod strapped to my arm with the elastic armband accessory. Nothing like this is available for the pickle. On my beach walks, I’ve found that the pickle can be carried around by conveniently tucking it down into the front of my Speedo. I’ve met tons of nice ladies on the beach since scoring the pickle. I can only assume they dig yodeling as much as I do.
It’s a great portable music solution for yodeling fans. Cheaper than an iPod and the chicks seem to dig it
Okay, so did you really expect there NOT to be a funny review on this product? Hi-liarious. I wonder if any animals would be attracted to my urine, besides umpa-lumpas, of course. There could be an excellent home-based business opportunity here…
One for the cellar
This review is from: Wolf Urine Lure-32 oz (Kitchen)
One is immediately drawn to this vintage by the colour, which is an elegant, pale straw hue with an appealing peachy fruit on the nose. It has an incredibly effervescent bead — the whole glass teams with bubbles — culminating in a frothy layer at the head.
The palate has panache, with a firm, mineral acidity that cuts through a rather elegantly styled, poised meaty presence. As with most Chateau Deerbuster products, this has the signature leafy-fresh character, which softens into a slight rancid feel towards the end.
Even though it has a rather short and crisply defined finish, I still believe this has the composition and acidity to age well in the cellar of any self-respecting urine connoisseur.
Beautiful mediocrity. On a shirt.
Sometimes reviewers leave us laughing by their lack of wit, but this guy makes me laugh because of his abundance of it. There’s not really a lot to say about this “Meh.” shirt
, but here you go. Have a happy Friday!
5.0 out of 5 stars Eh…, December 28, 2010
When I first got this T-shirt as a gift, I thought to myself “Meh” after silently reading the content of the T-shirt. After a few washes and some quality time spent with the shirt, my opinion has changed to just “eh…” as I have lost my deep-rooted passion for clever t-shirt slogans.
Yeah, but have your musicans ever been shot?
Ummm. Yeah. No artist is less controversial and universally loved than 50 cent. Gotta love the biting sarcasm in this one! This funny review is brought to us via an anonymous poster on Amazon.
5.0 out of 5 stars Musical genius. No other phase is needed!!, July 21, 2005 This review is from: The Massacre (Audio CD) That review above mine is just some crap written by some poser with no taste. 50 Cent is just as good as all those old “musicians” that you cherish. People give him crap because he can’t read or write muzak. Even more people give him crap because he can’t read or write. I’ve heard posers come out with garbage like “he merely exploits his image and shallow agenda because he wants money” and “his songs are retarded enough to allow him daily access to a wheelchair” etc etc etc. But I have one question for you. How many times have your precious “musicians” been shot? Everybody needs to remember that muzak quality (espeically in the case of rappers who the greatest musicians of them all) is based on the toughness. How many times has Beethoven been shot? Or Miles Davis? Or that poser with the violin? Exactly. Speaking of Beethoven, I don’t know why people give him credit just because he made a bit of music when he was deaf. If you want a great musician with disabilities then go for 50 Cent.
The album cover also wins the award for "best use of a 1983 installation of MS Paint"
Here’s my review for this one: turn on a fan. I hesitate to even label this one in the “music” category, but that’s what is shows up on in an Amazon search. The “artist” Joe Baker first released this masterpiece on April 14, 2008, when it topped the charts absolutely nowhere. The review here won’t be found on Amazon.com and is s Funny Reviews Original™ by yours truly.
The other day I was laying around. It was great, average great, in fact. But then I turned on a fan, you know, to blow some air around where I was laying around. Then I had this thought, “what if someone, somewhere, could bottle up the noise (of average purity) that I am enjoying right now? Could that ever be?” And then I found this album (after I got up and laid back down again with a computer). The majestic glory that is 73 continuous minutes of white noise – low pitch white noise, in fact – can hardly be described in one review. It’s ultra purity raises the quality level far above the “regular purity” white noise that some other musicians are peddling. And the fact that Joe Baker went all the way to the limits, filling an entire CD all the way to the edges with 73 minutes of white noise means that I have the potential to be satisfied for 72.9 minutes after I turn the CD off if I so choose to be. I am thoroughly satisfied with this incredible use of time, electricity, and raw materials that is Ultrapure White Noise by Joe Baker.
God's cure for runny, angry bowels.
We didn’t have to look too hard for this one. User James Sweet warns us of his individual experience with this method for curing IBS by using The Bible Cure for Irritable Bowel Syndrome. Available on Amazon. Just in case you still want it after reading the title.
Does not work!!!11!11!!
The claims in this book are false. If you grind up a Bible and consume it in pill form, it will NOT cure your IBS. Maybe I was confused because I only read the title and not the actual book, but my results have been just terrible. I have spent over $300 on KJV Bibles, condemned myself to eternal hellfire for blasphemy, and I STILL have irritable bowels.
When I get some more money, I intend to try it again with New International Version Bibles, because I hope this will be more effective.
- Some musical hilarity.
Do you know someone that is simultaneously pedantic, verbose, and uses big words to make fun of people? Then you probably know this guy from this Amazon review “Pianos = Fresh”. He’s reviewing the distinctly un-make-funable Keans album, “Hopes and Fears
Being into MTV and mainstream music I am subject to many bands that can barely play their instruments, and I love it. This is perhaps the first band EVER to combine piano AND rock music. OMG that is like soooooooooooo original! I think only the guys from Coldplay can play piano better than these guys. I was talking about how fresh and original this band is until my friend’s brother (a poser who’s into classical garbage) said that they just use watered down, simple, repetitive harmonic progressions, and are actually extremely limited and just because they used a piano doesn’t mean they were at all fresh. After I was done LOLOLing at was this moron said (I knew he was a moron because he likes Beethoven), I went “hey, these guys are on TV and they sell a lot of albums, so that means they’re good”.
This = good piano musak
Beethoven’s Presto Agitato = crappy poser wannabee piano playing